Love is a choice

I would be an idiot to let him go.

It's a lot of hard work to be someone else... to be yourself, you just need courage.

I fall for people too easily. I fall in love too easily. I trust people too easily. How can I change? Do I even want to change?

I did a test and if I were a car, I would be an Audi TT.


"Not the fastest, nor the most nimble, but you're cute and you have style. You're not intensely competitive, but when you pass by, everyone turns to look."

http://www.tomorrowland.us/sportscar/

Dad says religion is the most effective painkiller.

I did not have a life outside of him. Now that he is gone, I've had to rebuild my life. And things have never been so clear. I am happy with what I've acomplished so far and I know that I will continue to build my dreams and I will not lose faith. I have a great support system and I am blessed with the love from my family and friends and even love from people I don't know in this world... and maybe even a higher love. I am protected and I am not alone and I will succeed. No more postponing my life until I get a better job, or a partner or a house... the time to live life is now...

3 years ago, August 9, 2003, my friend was diagnosed with Leukemia. At the age of 23. It changed his life. It is a miracle that he is alive today and doing fanatastic. He went back to finish school and now plans to go to Korea for work. I am so proud of him.

Below is a testimony he wrote not long after he was diagnosed.

My Testimony
>By Daniel Kim
>
> When I was first diagnosed with leukemia I wasn’t shocked,
>worried, I was not afraid. From the very beginning God was with me
>telling me that everything happens for a reason, it was just a
>matter of understanding the reason for this to happen in my life.
> Leukemia, cancer of the blood, what happens in leukemia is that
>the body, more specifically the bone marrow, which produces blood,
>begins to make abnormal white blood cells in great amounts. There’s
>also a deficiency in the production of red blood cells and
>hemoglobin. God couldn’t have illustrated any better what was wrong
>in my life spiritually than by mirroring those problems physically.
> My life was stagnant, unproductive in all aspects. My life was
>full of sin, my thoughts actions and attitude were nothing like what
>God wanted. Everything I said or did only created more problems in
>every facet of my life. I could see myself getting deeper and deeper
>into a life that would ultimately lead to spiritual death. My life
>was riddled with uncertainty though I always managed to hide it from
>most people I could never of course hide it from God.
> With all these problems mounting around me and the feelings of
>desperation, anxiety and all out hopelessness growing I would pray
>and ask God, knowing he wouldn’t ever let me in an impossible
>situation, I would ask God how it would ever be possible for anyone
>to get me out of this mess, I couldn’t imagine any possible way for
>my escape. God’s answer was nothing short of perfect. God did the
>impossible without anyone ever knowing it. God froze time. God froze
>time around me he stopped the world from spinning and the momentum
>of all the things against me, as well as myself with my self
>destructive living. That wasn’t the only thing, God did so much more
>in those four weeks in the hospital, he began to change me and show
>me so much, I would never be the same again.
> Some people may look at my life and say “what a set backEor
>“how unfortunateE They couldn’t be more wrong because this
>experience has brought such a welcome and necessary change in my
>life and I thank God everyday for it. Only God can take something
>like getting leukemia and making it the greatest, richest,
>fulfilling experience in your life. Mr. Shirley, a roommate of mine
>in the hospital couldn’t understand this, he kept saying “this must
>be tough on you, you’re so young, and you’re at a stage in your life
>where you should be out in the world doing things.EI kept trying to
>explain how I felt, but he just didn’t understand.
> Other people who would come and visit always remarked how good
>and healthy I looked, how I was in such high spirits or how not
>depressed I was, how I didn’t look like I got hit by the
>chemotherapy Mac Truck, how tough I was, how strong willed I was. I
>wasn’t. I didn’t have to be because during that time God carried me.
> Without God I would have been constantly afraid, I am by no
>means tough, without God I would have been in shambles, probably
>angry at the world blaming anyone or anything I could. But with God
>carrying me I didn’t have to be strong or brave I didn’t have to
>worry what was coming next during my stay in the hospital I lost 45
>pounds (about 20 kilograms), there was constant nausea, and pain
>from chemotherapy, headaches, they stuck a tube in my neck, they
>sawed a piece out of my head and stuck a rubber balloon with a
>plastic straw into my brain, I had sores in my mouth, through this
>God not only sustained me, he carried me, none of this mattered, it
>didn’t affect me, he carried me through both physical and mental
>challenges to new heights.
> Although I say this, God also continued to teach me, God showed
>me that in the hospital, as well as in life that things wouldn’t
>always be so easy, God through a series of events showed me that it
>wouldn’t always be smooth sailing as one of his children, but
>sometimes he would withdraw a little bit to test our faith, but
>though he may withdraw a little bit he was still watching over me
>and God eventually turned these events into more blessings.
> After this experience there’s not one moment I want to lose, I
>don’t want to waste another second of my life on anything
>unimportant or needless. Life is far too valuable a gift and far too
>fleeting. I’ve also learned that in life you do have a choice, if
>you put your mind to something you can do anything you want, the
>only thing holding you back is yourself. There’s too much in life to
>experience and share, God’s love being the greatest gift of all,
>through my family and friends I felt God’s love, I feel like I’ve
>tasted heaven. I thought, if I could experience such powerful love
>on earth, how could it possibly feel in heaven? How infinitely
>sweeter it must be, I couldn’t even fathom the idea. How could you
>not want this? The only tears I shed in the hospital were of
>overwhelming joy, no pain I ever felt there cut through me so deeply
>as the love I felt through my family and friends, Love direct from
>God. God makes you feel as though you are the only one he loves yet
>he loves everyone equally, its an amazing thing.
> God has a plan for everyone, I’m no special case, God has
>amazing blessings in store for everyone who believes in Jesus all
>you have to do is admit it and believe, it’s as easy as that.
> Here at home God continues to comfort and teach me new things
>everyday the pain I feel is temporary, compared to an eternity in
>heaven.
>

I don't hate you, I hate who I became because of you.

p.s. It's lychee season. I LOVE lychee. Yum Yum.

1. Try everything twice.
On Madams tombstone(of Whelan's and Madam) she said she wanted this epitaph: Tried everything twice...loved it both times!

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down. keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches

3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain get idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop. And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!"

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.

If you're mad with someone , and nobody's there to fix the situation... You fix it.
Maybe today, that person still wants to be your friend. And if u don't, tomorrow can be too late.

If you're in love with somebody, but that person doesn't know... tell her/him.
Maybe today, that person is also in love with you. And if you don't say it, tomorrow can be too late.


If you still love a person that you think has forgotten you... tell her/him. Maybe that person have always loved you. And if you don't tell her/him today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you need a hug from a friend... ask her/him for it. Maybe they need it more than you do. And if you don't ask for it today, tomorrow can be too late.

If you really have friends who you appreciate... tell them. Maybe they appreciate you as well. That if you don't and they leave or go far away today, tomorrow can be too late.


If you love your parents, and never had the chance to show them... do it. Maybe you have them there to show them how you feel. That if you don't and they leave today, then tomorrow can be too late.

Lotions and potions are just frosting on the cake. If you don't feel georgeous in your soul, that's where your makeover should begin.


Beauty tips from Audrey Hepurn.

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek the good in people.
For a slim figure, share you food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run their hands through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw anyone out.
Remember if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find them at the end of each of your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries or the way she comes her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in the facial mode, but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years.

The Awakening ~Virginia Swift~

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter). and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect, and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are and its OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process a sense of newly found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers, and you begin to accept people as they are, and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.
You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you shouldn't weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing, and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility, and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry, and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable, or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love. and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. Just to make you happy. And, you learn that 'alone' does not mean lonely.
And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting feelings aside, smoothing things over, and ignoring your needs.
You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK. . . and that it is your right to want things that you want. and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect, and you will not settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you, to glorify you with his or her touch. and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water, and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear, so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul, so you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that, for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve. and that much of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for, and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success, you need direction, discipline, and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all alone and its OK to risk asking for help. You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it, and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.
You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve, and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego.
You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy, and resentment must be understood and redirected, or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself. by yourself, and you try to make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
~Virginia Swift~